


What happens in group chat doesn't stay in group chat

by Miracle4me



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor, Kagami is an Ass Aomine is a Dick, M/M, Maybe butt secks later?, see what i did there?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-23
Updated: 2017-03-29
Packaged: 2018-10-09 15:04:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10414857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miracle4me/pseuds/Miracle4me
Summary: Kise starts a GoM group chat, ridiculous shenanigans ensue and Aomine regrets that unfortunate dick pic. Momoi, Kise & Takao board the Aokaga ship, Midorima discovers a horrifying secret (about a masturbation pic) and people need to stop changing the group name, stop it guys!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, this was random. I don't know why I wrote it, I don't know if I'll continue. I'm not good at writing nor at humour. English ain't my first language either. But if y'all like it, perhaps I'll give second chapter a try maybe?
> 
> Edit : because of the love received, there will be further chapters and more ridiculousness.

**SugarDaddy** created the group **Miracles R us**

 

 **SugarDaddy** added **phantomhive** , **moemo** , **Maihugeballs** , **chewbaka** , **Akashitsme** and **Luckyst** to the group.

 

 **SugarDaddy** : hey guys!!!!!!

 

 **Luckyst** left the group chat

 

 **SugarDaddy** : nooooooo shinchan :(

 **Akashitmsme** : I sent midorima a message. You can add him back now.

 **SugarDaddy** : LOL

 

 **SugarDaddy** added **Luckyst** to **Miracles R us**

 

 **Luckyst** : Aomine you are disgusting.

 **Phantomhive** : hello everyone

 

 **Phantomhive** added **FightMedumbass** to **Miracles R us**

 

 **SugarDaddy** : is that kagamicchi?

 **Maihugeballs** : wtf is your problem 4 eyes?!

 **SugarDaddy** : hi Aominecchi! ^^

 **Maihugeballs** : yo

 **Akashitsme** : A pun hidden in a pun. Very clever and perverse Daiki.

 **Luckyst** : except for the clever bit, it's apt on him.

 **Phantomhive** : Midorima kun, its inauspicious to pick a fight so early on in the group.

 **FightMedumbass** : why tf am I in this group?

 **Maihugeballs** : yeah he isn't a miracle kick him.

 **SugarDaddy** : Kagamicchi beat you Aomine!

 **SugarDaddy** : You can't say that about him?

 **Maihugeballs** : whatever man

 **Chewbaka** : does anyone have a snack?

 **Akashitsme** : you expect us to send you food through text?

 **Chewbaka** : .......

 **SugarDaddy** : you scared him off Akashicchi.

 **Moemo** : I'm sorry I can't chajrjme I fhysk skk

 **Phantomhive** : Momoi San?

 **Maihugeballs** : she's babysitting her nephew right now

 **Phantomhive** : ah...

 **FightMedumbass** : Aomine, I can kick your ass again 

 **Maihugeballs** : challenge accepted dumbass

 **Luckyst** : Bunch of juveniles.

 **Akashitsme** : This group was not created so I could watch you idiots bickering.

 

 **SugarDaddy** has added **Akashitsme** to group admin

 

 **Maihugeballs** : he started it!!

 **Luckyst** : very mature Aomine

 **FightMedumbass** : yeah very mature Aho. Change your name to MaismallDai

 **Phantomhive** : .......

 **SugarDaddy** : Burn

 **Maihugeballs** : Fucking DUMBASS MY DICK is bigger than yours

 **SugarDaddy** : "the only dick that can beat my dick is me"

 **FightMedumbass** : LMAO

 **FightMedumbass** : good one Kise lol Ahomine beating his dick

 **FightMedumbass** : oh..

 **Maihugeballs** : fuck all of you

 **Maihugeballs** : and Taiga, you like to picture me masturbating or something?

 **Akashitsme** : I can't say I like how the conversation in this group is already devolving.

 **Phantomhive** : we are the average of the 5 friends we have

 **Akashitsme** : That's a disturbing thought.

 **FightMedumbass** : Aomine please, ain't nobody picturing your 2 cms so don't flatter yourself homie.

 **Akashitsme** : are parallel conversations the norm in group chats?

 **Phantomhive** : it happens when there are too many people in a group chat Akashi San.

 **FightMedumbass** : FUCK YOU AOMINE!!! WHY THE @ &%$!! WOULD YOU DO THAT?!

 **SugarDaddy** : !!!!! What did I miss?!!

 **Phantomhive** : calm down. What happened?

 **FightMedumbass** : HE SENT ME A DICK PIC ON PRIVATE CHAT!

 **SugarDaddy** : xD xD xD OMG

 **Luckyst** : I am in a group chat with animals.

 **Phantomhive** : *sigh* that's what you get for baiting him Kagami kun.

 **Maihugeballs** : A picture speaks a thousand words

 **Akashitsme** : "A picture is worth a thousand words"

 **Akashitsme** : Midorima, animals?

 **Luckyst** : never you Akashi

 **FightMedumbass** : I need to wash my eyes in acid

 **FightMedumbass** : I NEED ACID

 **SugarDaddy** : you broke him Aominecchi

 **Maihugeballs** : What?

 **Maihugeballs** : imho I've got a nice looking dick. I don't know why he's complaining

 **Phantomhive** : Aomine Kun!

 **SugarDaddy** :3

 **Phantomhive** : Aomine's narcissism has reached the magnetosphere.

 **Maihugeballs** : Tetsu please

 **Akashitsme** :)

 **Maihugeballs** : that's disturbing

 **Phantomhive** : Akashi using emojis?

 **Phantomhive** : not any less disturbing than receiving a dick pic

 **SugarDaddy** :,( Akashi smiling is never good...

 **Maihugeballs** : now that you mention it...

 **SugarDaddy** : lets all calm down...

 **SugarDAddy** : where is Kagamicchi?

 **Phantomhive** : Kagami Kun?

 **Maihugeballs** : Oi

 **Phantomhive** : what do you have to say for yourself Aomine kun?

 **Akashitsme** : I was unaware you were the kind that sent unsolicited dick pics Aomine Daiki.

 **Maihugeballs** : ????

 **Maihugeballs** : it was the only way to shut him up! he kept insisting I had a small dick!!!

 **Maihugeballs** : wth don't associate me with random guys that send off dick pics on the internet!

 **Phantomhive** : you just described yourself

 **Akashitsme** : then how exactly would you describe what you just did?

 **Luckyst** : Oha Asa predicted an unlucky altercation for virgos today, your lucky item is a yellow water bottle.

 **Maihugeballs** : guys seriously?

 **Moemo** : hallo ^^ what's happening?

 **Phantomhive** : Aomine sent Kagami kun a dick pic

 **Moemo** : O.o Dai Chan, is this how I raised you?

 **Maihugeballs** : fuck my life

 **SugarDaddy** : I'm just gonna step outside for a bit while tempers cool down... :D

 **Maihugeballs** : fine what do you want from me?!

 **Akashitsme** : An apology would be a good start.

 **Phantomhive** : tell him you're sorry, that's it.

 **Luckyst** : Aomine is capable of apologising?

 **Akashitsme** : Midorima, dont fan the flames.

 **Luckyst** : Of course.

 **Maihugeballs** : so it's all my fault. Taiga had nothing to do with it.

 **Luckyst** : when in doubt, hide behind sarcasm.

 **Maihugeballs** : midorima go stab yourself

 **Luckyst** : make me

 **Phantomhive** : well this group chat has enlightened me.

 **Akashitsme** : still fighting like everyone used to in Teko.

 **Akashitsme** : I hereby announce that we are all to partake in "friendly" chats and activities. Everyday.

 **SugarDaddy** : O_O Akashi...

 **Akashitsme** : Anyone who misses a session without valid reasons will be personally dealt with. Are we all on board?

 **Phantomhive** : yes Akashi

 **Moemo** : yes sir!

 **SugarDaddy** :D lol yes

 **Maihugeballs** : look what you did Fucking 4 eyes

 **Luckyst** : I concur with Akashi

 **Chewbaka** : only if it doesn't clash with meal times.

 **SugarDaddy** : what? You were here the whole time?

 **Chewbaka** : I'm a lurker...

 **Akashitsme** : Daiki?

 **Maihugeballs** : do I have to?

 **Akashitsme** :)

 **Maihugeballs** : fuck

 **Maihugeballs** : fine

..................................................

  
**Akashitsme** changed **Miracles R Us** 's name to **Miracles ReBoot**

 

 **Moemo** : Good evening Everyone ^^

 **Akashitsme** : good evening Momoi

 **Phantomhive** : hello Akashi San and Momoi San.

 **Moemo** : Tetsu Kun ^^ are you free this weekend?

 **Phantomhive** : I apologise Momoi San, I'm spending the weekend over at Kagami Kun's.

 **SugarDaddy** : doing what? :O

 **Phantomhive** : Marathoning the game of thrones. Kagami hasn't seen it yet.

 **Moemo** : awww have fun

 **Akashitsme** : what is this game of thrones?

 **Moemo** : you haven't seen it yet? @.@

 **Akashitsme** : no

 **Luckyst** : it's about a bunch of people fighting over an uncomfortable looking iron chair.

 **Maihugeballs** : fuck no

 **Maihugeballs** : you're missing the important bits

 **Maihugeballs** : naked women, a badass midget and the incest

 **SugarDaddy** : The incest...

 **Moemo** : the mother of dragons

 **SugarDaddy** : you know nothing momoi snow!

 **Akashitsme** : ....

 **Akashitsme** : Midget and incest? Is that not porn?

 **Moemo** : it is!

 **Fightmedumbass** : wtf kuroko you told me it's about basketball!

 **SugarDaddy** : LMFAO kuroko

 **Luckyst** : game of thrones? How does that remotely sound basketball related?

 **SugarDaddy** : Two grown ass men watching porn together xD

 **FightMedumbass** : it's got the word game in it.

 **Fightmedumbass** : SHUT UP KISE! I am NOT watching porn with kuroko!

 **Maihugeballs** : what a dumbass. Fight yourself Kagami.

 **Fightmedumbass** : I sent your dick pic to Imayoshi

 **Maihugeballs** : wtffffffff

 **Moemo** : haha xD dai chan, you're gonna be all over the Internet.

 **SugarDaddy** : why are you even in touch with Imayoshi? :D

 **Fightmedumbass** : got his number from coach who got it from their coach.

 **Fightmedumbass** : get rekt Ahomine

 **Moemo** : Dai chan

 **Fightmedumbass** : where'd he go?

 **Maihugeballs** : imayoshi just texted asking me to "Buy me some ramen and a pack of ribbed condoms dick pic kun, I'm too lazy to visit the store. Remember Who has the pic"

 **Moemo** : that's black mail :O

 **Maihugeballs** : no shit Satsuki

 **Phantomhive** : Kagami kun, that's cruel

 **FightMedumbass** : and sending me that pic wasn't?

 **Phantomhive** : drama queen

 **FightMedumbass** : you know what its like to see another man's junk?

 **Phantomhive** : But you're gay.

 **SugarDaddy** : what?!

 **Moemo** : he's gay?

 **Akashitsme** : you outed a gay man on a group chat.

 **Maihugeballs** : wtf I sent a pic of my dick to a homo?

 **FightMedumbass** : that doesn't mean it's any less traumatising to see a dick I don't want to see!

 **Luckyst** : why are we still discussing Aomine's unmentionables?

 **Maihugeballs** : what do you mean you don't wanna see my dick?

 **Moemo** : Do you have a boyfriend Kagami kun?

 **Phantomhive** : just because you're popular doesn't mean everyone wants a piece of you Aomine kun.

 **SugarDaddy** : kagamicchi has a boyfriend?!

 **FightMedumbass** : what no?! I don't have a boyfriend!

 **Maihugeballs** : Tetsu, deep inside, everyone wants a piece of me.

 **Akashitsme** : I would disagree vehemently

 **Moemo** : dai chan you're like a brother to me

 **Luckyst** : *retches*

 **FightMedumbass** : I don't fancy perverts

 **Phantomhive** : I rest my case.

 **Maihugeballs** : sometimes I question my choice in friends

 **Akashitsme** : that's rich coming from you

  
**FightMedumbass** added **Shadowfiendpicker** to **Miracles**   **ReBoot**

  
**Maihugeballs** : who?

 **Shadowfiendpicker** : did you buy the things I asked you to buy a-o-m-I-n-e?

 

 **Maihugeballs** left the group chat

 

 **Moemo** : hi Imayoshi Senpai :)

 **Shadowfiendpicker** : momoi ^^

 **SugarDaddy** : Akashicchi, can you threaten Daiki back into the group?

 **Akashitsme** : done

 

 **Akashitsme** added **Maihugeballs** to **Miracles**   **ReBoot**

 

 **Maihugeballs** : you guys just want to see the world burn

 **FightMedumbass** : be nice to your senpai Aho

 **Maihugeballs** : _|_

 **Shadowfiendpicker** : I sent the pic to wakamatsu as a backup.

 **Moemo** : I am so sorry Dai chan xD

 **Maihugeballs** : ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME?!

 **Shadowfiendpicker** : I would never fuck with you

 **FightMedumbass** : it's Karma catching up

 **Maihugeballs** : fuck off man you can't see my face in the pic so I don't care

 **Shadowfiendpicker** : I made taiga screen cap the private chat where you sent it.

 **Shadowfiendpicker** : has your name on it

 **Maihugeballs** : Kagami I hate you

  
**Maihugeballs** left the group chat

  
**Phantomhive** : I think he's really pissed off this time

 **SugarDaddy** : :D Good game well played!

 **Moemo** : Taiga San, imayoshi Senpai, I think you should work something out with Dai chan xD

 **Akashitsme** : you guys have had your fun

 **Fightmedumbass** : did you really send a backup to wakamatsu?

 **Shadowfiendpicker** : yes and no

 **Shadowfiendpicker** : I sent it just to annoy wakamatsu

 **Phantomhive** : seriously people..

 **Luckyst** : it's time for a break.

 **Akashitsme** : settle your differences Taiga

 **Phantomhive** : now you and Aomine kun are even.

 **Akashitsme** : Goodnight everyone

 **Moemo** : zzzzzz

 **Shadowfiendpicker** : ja-ne

 **Phantomhive** : night night

 **Luckyst** : goodnight

 **FightMedumbass** : we aren't even!

 **SugarDaddy** : no ones here except you and me Kagamicchi  <3

 **FightMedumbass** : I figured..

 **SugarDaddy** : I know this really nice guy in school ^^

 **FightMedumbass** : Kise. No.

 **SugarDaddy** : but he's tall and has great abs  >.<

 **FightMedumbass** : every one on this group is tall and has great abs

 **FightMedumbass** : except Akashi, he's a shortie.

 **FightMedumbass** : is there anyway to undo that text?

 **SugarDaddy** : No lol see ya in hell

 **FightMedumbass** : ...

  
..................................

 

 **Akashitsme** : what's this about me being a shortie?

 

 **FightMedumbass** left the group chat

 

 **SugarDaddy** added **Maihugeballs** to **Miracles ReBoot**

 **SugarDaddy** added **FightMedumbass** to **Miracles ReBoot**

 

 **Luckyst** : This group isn't big enough for 2 wild animals.

 **Akashitsme** : I'm a shortie?

 **FightMedumbass** : No Akashi you're not.

 **Akashitsme** : are you implying I read your chats wrong?

 **Maihugeballs** : you called him a shortie, I saved the screen cap

 **SugarDaddy** : no one's ever had the balls to call Akashi short

 **SugarDaddy** : congratulations Kagamicchi :)) you're first!

 **Moemo** : ah.. Taiga San is brace

 **Moemo** : *brave

 **Luckyst** : Are we all going to ignore the fact that Aomine's pic is doing the rounds on Too's team?

 **Phantomhive** : kagami kun why?

 **Maihugeballs** : wtf which asshole's been spreading it around?

 **Maihugeballs** : and why am I hearing this only now from midorima????

 **Maihugeballs** : of all people?!

 **Luckyst** : I heard it from Takao

 

 **Luckyst** added **privateye** to **Miracles ReBoot**

 

 **Privateye** : Ara?

 **Akashitsme** : Taiga, I'll ignore it this one time.

 **FightMedumbass** : yes Akashi San

 **Maihugeballs** : Takao

 **Privateye** : nice dick pic Daiki. Kimura said it's bigger than shimiken's

 **Maihugeballs** : do I want to know?

 **Privateye** : you've got the works for becoming a famous porn star

 **FightMedumbass** : wait, you said it was doing the rounds in Too

 **Privateye** : yes I did

 **FightMedumbass** : so why is shutoku discussing it?

 **Privateye** : it's doing the rounds here too

 **Chewbaka** : Himuro San says he's seen it too

 **Moemo** : Dai chan, that's haha I'm so sorry I don't even know what to say

 **Phantomhive** : I just received a copy of the pic from Izuki

 **Phantomhive** : someone even photoshopped basketballs onto it..

 **FightMedumbass** : damn son

 **Maihugeballs** : Basketballs?

 **Akashitsme** : you seem strangely calm about it Aomine

 **Maihugeballs** : I've run out of fucks to give

 **SugarDaddy** : that's the spirit Aominecchi!

 **Moemo** : Hahahahaha basketballs  
  
**Maihugeballs** : but why are a bunch of straight dudes passing around a pic of my dick?

 **Luckyst** : Aomine asking the important questions in life

 **Akashitsme** : good question

 **Phantomhive** : right, that's an interesting question

 **Privateye** : you know it's like when there's a road accident?

 **Privateye** : and people just stand and gawk despite knowing it's rude

 **Maihugeballs** : my dick is not an accident.

 **Luckyst** : can we move on? Aomine's dick is not news anymore

 **Privateye** : I can have all the pics erased from every phone.

 **Maihugeballs** : what do you want? My first born son?

 **Privateye** : nothing so drastic Dai Chan  <3

 **Akashitsme** : it probably has something to do with Midorima

 **Luckyst** : no

 **Privateye** : Akashi you are a mind reader :O

 **akashitsme** : just common sense

 **Phantomhive** : sensing a drama coming a mile away

 **Privateye** : I want old pics of shin chan

 **Privateye** : from Teko

 **Maihugeballs** : DONE!

 **Luckyst** : you wouldn't dare

 **Maihugeballs** : watch me

 **FightMedumbass** : I'm outta here

 **Luckyst** : Kise, kick Kazunari Takao from the group.

 **Phantomhive** : I think I've got some pics of Midorima kun dressed up as a sunflower for the school play

 **FightMedumbass** : LOLOLOL

 **SugarDaddy** : post them to this group!

  
**Luckyst** left the group chat

  
**Akashitsme** changed **Miracles ReBoot**  name to **Shame Shame**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Maihugeballs : Ayyyy Tiger how dat ass?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was very surprised to find that people actually liked this fic. That said, I am unbelievably grateful for all the kudos, comments and bookmarks. I had no plot in mind when I wrote chapter 1 and I still don't have one but I tried to insert plot and it still derailed. This fic is writing itself. I apologise for not responding directly to comments, I'm shy :) nonetheless, I am so grateful for the encouragement.

**Akashitsme** added **Luckyst** to **Shame Shame**

  
   
[ **Phantomhive** shared a picture]

  
   
**Luckyst** : Kuroko Tetsuya, this is war.

 **Maihugeballs** : LOL angry sunflower

 **Moemo** : Chibi angry sunflower xD

 **Chewbaka** : Mido chin those tights are scandalous

 **Privateye** : (ﾉ≧∀≦)ﾉ shin chaaaaan

 **Akashitsme** : Midorima, I take it you were forced to wear the sunflower suit.

 **Luckyst** : it was either the sunflower or the hip hop pumpkin

 **Akashitsme** : wise decision

 **Fightmedumbass** : HIP HOP PUMPKIN!!!

 **Sugardaddy** : Shin Chan the HIP HOP PUMPKIN

 **Fightmedumbass** :  Lol

 **Maihugeballs** : smh

 **Luckyst** : I did not want to resort to this but you’ve all forced my hand.

  
   
[ **Luckyst** shared a picture]

  
   
**Moemo** : XD

 **Maihugeballs** : Tetsu wtf

 **Fightmedumbass** : kuroko you little pervert

 **Akashitsme** : how old were you?

 **Phantomhive** : 10, my cousins told me it was normal for boys to wear bikinis.

 **Akashitsme** : you still have it?

 **Phantomhive** : why?

 **Akashitsme** : No particular reason  

 **SugarDaddy** : oh OH Σ(O_O)

 **Phantomhive** : what happened?

 **Akashitsme** : Kise Ryouta :)

 **SugarDaddy**  : nothing, just noticing you had longer hair in the picture :)

  
   
[ **Luckyst** shared a picture]

  
   
**Fightmedumbass** : you’re a dumbass, this proves it

 **Sugardaddy** : Aomine fighting a beaver.

 **Privateye** : ლ(¯ロ¯"ლ)

 **Moemo** : Dai chan!!! How could you??

 **Maihugeballs** : Midorima you shitstain

 **Akashitsme** : let me guess, the beaver started it?

 **Phantomhive** : obviously

 **Fightmedumbass** : did you also send that beaver a dick pic?

 **SugarDaddy** : XD Omg I love you guys

 **Maihugeballs** : I SWEAR TO GOD

 **Maihugeballs** : MIDORIMA 

  
   
[ **Maihugeballs** shared a pic]

  
   
**Akashitsme** : this is getting ridiculous

 **Chewbaka** : Mido chin you nasty

 **Luckyst** : where did you get that?!!

 **Fightmedumbass** : is that what I think it is?

 **Luckyst** : it’s all an absurd misunderstanding! Ridiculous.

 **Akashitsme** : Clearly, that’s your hand inside your bathrobe

 **Phantomhive** : stroking something

 **Luckyst** : I was applying lotion after my bath!

 **Maihugeballs** : LMAO LOTION HE SAYS

 **Moemo** : we all know what boys do with lotion ^^

 **Luckyst** : I do not have to explain myself.

 **SugarDaddy** : But who is the perv taking the pic?

 **Moemo** :  O.o

 **Moemo** : *looks at Takao*

 **Privateye** :  it wasn’t me!!

 **Fightmedumbass** :  the stalker is strong in this one

 **Moemo** :  remember to shut your windows and doors kids

 **Privateye** :  it really wasn’t me!!

 **Phantomhive** :  oh? Who then?

 **Privateye** :  I confiscated the pic from some girls in Shutoku

 **Maihugeballs** : “confiscated”

 **Privateye** :  how could I allow shin chan's pure picture to remain in the hands of perverts??

 **Akashitsme** :  that picture is everything but pure.

 **Phantomhive** : that is hypocritical Takao kun

 **Fightmedumbass** : Ahomine must have bribed you with something big to break that pic out

 **Luckyst** : Kazunari, consider our partnership null and void.

 **Privateye** :  Shin chan!!

 **Phantomhive** :  are we all done sharing embarrassing pictures of each other?

 **Luckyst** : I’m glad you asked

  
   
[ **Luckyst** shared a picture]

  
   
**Phantomhive** : Aomine kun..

 **SugarDaddy**  : (//ω//)

 **Chewbaka** : When were you a stripper Mine chin?

 **Shadowfiendpicker** : oh I remember this

 **Akashitsme** : A police officer eh Daiki?

 **Shadowfiendpicker** : he was stripping at the local geriatrics centre for money

 **Maihugeballs** : shut your lying toxic mouth imayoshi

 **Maihugeballs** : it was a favour alright, I don’t wanna talk about it.

 **SugarDaddy**  : ah… he went offline.

 **Privateye** : Kagami kun has been strangely quiet

 **Akashitsme** : Taiga?

 **Fightmedumbass** : what? I was busy..

 **Phantomhive** : with what?

 **Fightmedumbass** : stuff

 **Shadowfiendpicker** : suspicious

 **Privateye** : Did Taiga chan not like the picture?

 **SugarDaddy**  : (≖ ͜ʖ≖)

 **Fightmedumbass** : are you guys for real?

 **Moemo** : (≖ ͜ʖ≖)

 **Phantomhive** : (≖ ͜ʖ≖)

 **Privateye** : (≖ ͜ʖ≖)

 **Shadowfiendpicker** :  /╲/\╭༼ ººل͟ºº ༽╮/\╱\

 **Fightmedumbass** : WTF IMAYOSHI??

 **SugarDaddy**  : why would you do that??

 **Akashitsme** : Nothing productive here, i bid everyone a goodnight.

 **Phantomhive** : goodnight

 **SugarDaddy**  : Kagamicchi, what are your thoughts on that pic?

 **Fightmedumbass** : Why are you singling me out?!

 **Moemo** : answer the question Kagami ^^

 **Privateye** : Answer the question Kagami ^^

 **Fightmedumbass** : what picture?

 **SugarDaddy**  : tsk

 **Moemo** : /

  
   
**Moemo**  created the group  **AOKAGA**

 **Moemo** added **SugarDaddy** and **Privateye** to the group  
   
**Moemo** : so here's the thing guys (≖ ͜ʖ≖)  
   
............................................  
   
   
**Sugardaddy** : Let’s play truth or dare!

 **Chewbaka** : kise chin, I'm baking with Mura chin. I won't play

 **Moemo** : I’m in!

 **Phantomhive** : sure

 **SugarDaddy** : awww Atsushicchi :(

 **Maihugeballs** : you woke me up for this Ryouta?

 **Fightmedumbass** : I’m not sure i want to

 **Akashitsme** : I’m interested

 **Moemo** : shush! Let Kise explain the rules

 **SugarDaddy**  : it will proceed in a chain alphabetically. Akashi starts by giving Aomine a question or dare. Aomine follows up with Imayoshi and it goes on.

 **Maihugeballs** : why does it have to be alphabetical?

 **Fightmedumbass** : Don't be a pussy Ahomine

 **Maihugeballs** : yeah? Trade places with me then tiger

 **Akashitsme** : am i so unlikable?

 **Phantomhive** : Ignore their bickering Akashi

 **Maihugeballs** : Taiga? Now who's being a pussy?

 **Akashitsme** : Tetsu, at least i have you.

 **SugarDaddy**  : (ⓛ ω ⓛ)

 **Moemo** : teehee

 **Phantomhive** : you have kise, midorima and momoi san too :)

 **SugarDaddy**  : damn it kurokocchi D:

 **Phantomhive** : ?

 **Akashitsme** : So Daiki :)

 **Maihugeballs** : ...

 **Akashitsme** : truth or dare?

 **Maihugeballs** : Truth

 **Fightmedumbass** : wow fast

 **Akashitsme** : Daiki

 **Maihugeballs** : What?!

 **Akashitsme** : you are sure?

 **Phantomhive**  : Akashi asks terrifying questions

 **Phantomhive** : be gentle Akashi

 **Akashitsme** : But I like it rough Tetsu

 **Maihugeballs** : wtf is wrong with you two?!

 **Maihugeballs** : truth, i choose truth.

 **Moemo** : you might regret it bad

 **Luckyst** : no joke.

 **Maihugeballs** : you assholes just want me to pick dare don’t you?

 **SugarDaddy** : you've never played truth or dare with Akashi before

 **Privateye** : this group is so entertaining

 **Shadowfiendpicker** : ikr

 **Maihugeballs** : i need to think about this

 **Fightmedumbass** : p-u-s-s-y

 **Akashitsme** : truth then Daiki

 **Maihugeballs** : NO STOP

 **Phantomhive** : tsk

 **Moemo** : you're delaying everyone Dai Chan

 **Maihugeballs** : But its Akashi!

 **Akashitsme** : Daiki, you wound my fragile feelings.

 **Maihugeballs** : balls

 **Maihugeballs** : fine i pick dare

 **Akashitsme** : alright Daiki, dare it is

 **Maihugeballs** : stop calling me Daiki, its creepy.

 **Akashitsme** : i won't allow a change of mind anymore

 **Moemo** : Dai chan you should have stuck to truth

 **Maihugeballs** : ????

 **Phantomhive** : his dares are even worse

 **Fightmedumbass** : LOL

 **Maihugeballs** : what kind of friends are you?!

 **Moemo** : Good luck Dai chan  >.<

 **Akashitsme**  : ready for your dare Daiki?

 **Akashitsme** : strip down to your boxers, then hump the Too School Gate while moaning loudly and aggressively on Friday evening 10 minutes after the last bell.

 **Maihugeballs** : Taiga

 **Fightmedumbass** : what?

 **Maihugeballs** : i think i'm a pussy

 **Fightmedumbass** : i'm not trading places with you

 **Luckyst** : is this allowed?

 **SugarDaddy** : yes :D

 **Maihugeballs** : i'll owe you a favour

 **Fightmedumbass** : ok

 **Privateye**  : Ara?

 **Moemo** : that was too easy

 **SugarDaddy** : (ⓛ ω ⓛ)

 **Fightmedumbass** : you cannot renege on it

 **Maihugeballs** : you're my hero

 **Fightmedumbass** : shut up aho!

 **sugarDaddy** : (ⓛ ω ⓛ)

 **Maihugeballs** : Kise you spaz

 **SugarDaddy** : we will be expecting the video latest by Fri night Kagamicchi <3

 **Akashitsme** : Seirin gate

 **Fightmedumbass** : yeah got it

 **SugarDaddy** : Imayoshi your turn ^^

 **Shadowfiendpicker** : truth

 **Fightmedumbass** : have you ever jerked off to anyone in this group?

 **Shadowfiendpicker** : yes

 **Moemo** : (ⓛ ω ⓛ)

 **Shadowfiendpicker** : Kise has a perky butt after all

 **Fightmedumbass** : TOO MUCH INFO ffffff

 **SugarDaddy** : i didn't have to know that........

 **Maihugeballs** : why is everyone gay?

 **Luckyst** : Aomine's turn again

 **Maihugeballs** : after Imayoshi?!

 **Luckyst** : T comes after I

 **Maihugeballs** : THIS IS A CONSPIRACY

 **Phantomhive** : Aomine doth protest too much

 **Maihugeballs** : i get thrown from Akashi to Imayoshi while owing Kagami a favour!

 **Maihugeballs** : How is any of that fair?

 **Moemo** : Poor Dai Chan :D

 **Maihugeballs** : truth

 **Shadowfiendpicker** : In this group, whose toe would you suck on?

 **Maihugeballs** : thats disgusting

 **Moemo** : eeeeew

 **Akashitsme** : tick tock

 **Maihugeballs** : Satsuki wanna switch?

 **Phantomhive** : again?

 **Moemo** : OK ^^

 **Maihugeballs** : noice

 **Moemo** : i will suck on my own toe xD

 **Maihugeballs** : fak

 **Akashitsme** : learn from her Daiki, I’m sure you've got a brain in there somewhere.

 **Phantomhive** : I pick Dare

 **Moemo** : A dare (ⓛ ω ⓛ)

 **Akashitsme** : Momoi

 **Moemo** : yes?

 **Akashitsme** : Nothing

 **Privateye** : nothing?

 **Privateye** : i spy with my little eye

 **Privateye** : a private message

 **Sugardaddy** : (ⓛ ω ⓛ)

 **Moemo** : Tetsu your dare is to wear a bikini ^^ I’ll get you one

 **Phantomhive** : oh?

 **SugarDaddy** : Midoricchi, your turn

 **Luckyst** : truth

 **Phantomhive** : were you rubbing lotion or masturbating?

 **Luckyst** : rubbing lotion

 **Akashitsme** : Liar Liar

 **Moemo** : we all know the truth mido kun ^^

 **Luckyst** : I swear on Oha Asa i was rubbing lotion

 **Phantomhive** : well i guess we have to believe that

 **Maihugeballs** : don't fall for it

 **Maihugeballs** : he swore he "was rubbing lotion"

 **Maihugeballs**  : not "i was not masturbating"

 **Akashitsme** : you do have a brain

 **Phantomhive** : Good point Aomine kun

 **Luckyst** : Aomine i'll make you regret that

 **Luckyst** : i was relieving myself

 **Maihugeballs** : relieving you say?

 **Luckyst** : relieving myself.

 **Maihugeballs** : screen cap everyone

 **Phantomhive** : glorious day

 **Privateye** : Tsun Tsun admitted it!

 **Luckyst** : you are all far too dramatic

 **SugarDaddy** : Aomine's turn again xD

 **Maihugeballs** : what after 4 eyes?!

 **Moemo** : Akashi to Imayoshi to Midorima

 **Phantomhive** : hat trick

 **Akashitsme** : time's running out Daiki, don't keep us waiting

 **Phantomhive** : why so impatient Akashi?

 **Akashitsme** : Tetsu likes it slow?

 **Moemo** :  (ⓛ ω ⓛ)

 **Phantomhive** : maybe

 **Maihugeballs** : GET A FUCKING ROOM

 **SugarDaddy** : Aominecchi xD

 **Maihugeballs** : truth

 **Luckyst** : Stripper pic, how did it happen?

 **Moemo** : right for the jugular

 **Shadowfiendpicker** : no lying Dai Chan, i know what happened

 **Maihugeballs** : this game is not fun

 **Akashitsme** : get on with it

 **Maihugeballs** : i was in a bad mood.. I broke a car window and the owner made me pay.

 **Shadowfiendpicker** : don't skip the details Dai Chan

 **Maihugeballs** : choke on a dick imayoshi

 **Shadowfiendpicker** : only if you're volunteering Dai Chan  <3

 **Maihugeballs** : Stop just stop.

 **Maihugeballs** : the car was a top end model and the owner was yakuza. He was looking for a Calender model, You guys can figure the rest out

 **Fightmedumbass** : that’s fucked up

 **Moemo** : Dai chan, I’m glad you got out alive :O

 **Akashitsme** : i could have helped spare you the experience if you'd come to me.

 **Maihugeballs** : not after Teko, none of us were in touch

 **SugarDaddy** : Aominecchi T.T

 **Maihugeballs** : cut the pity party

 **Privateye** : I choose dare Daiki

 **Maihugeballs** : yeah steal Midroima’s lucky item for tomorrow

 **Maihugeballs** : and destroy it

 **Phantomhive** : this is revenge, nothing but plain revenge.

 **Privateye** : Shin Chan won’t like it T.T

 **Luckyst** : if it goes missing, I’ll know who did it

 **Privateye** : I would never!

 **Privateye** : shin chan

 **Moemo** : that’s a hard place to be in Takao kun :D

 **SugarDaddy** : Akashicchi it’s your turn

 **Akashitsme** : truth

 **Privateye** : *rubs beard*

 **Privateye** : what was in the private message you sent to Momoi??

 **Akashitsme** : that is none of your business.

 **Privateye** : ლ(¯ロ¯ლ)

 **Phantomhive** : Akashi, forgot we were playing truth or dare?

 **Akashitsme** : I did not send her a message.

 **Privateye** : Truth Akashi

 **Akshitsme** : you have no proof of correspondence between Momoi and I.

 **Privateye** : “that is none of your business”

 **Privateye** : it shows you have something to hide

 **Akashitsme** : I was merely implying that my private messages in general are personal.

 **Moemo** : Akashi kun..

 **Phantomhive** : Akashi is a cheater

 **Shadowfiendpicker** : the rules of the game stipulate a complete lack of privacy with regards to all questions asked while “playing” the game until it is deemed over.

 **Akashitsme** : rules have not been stipulated, I fail to understand what you refer to.

 **Shadowfiendpicker** : The general rules of Truth or dare.

 **Privateye** : Don’t feign ignorance Akashi!

 **Luckyst** : Akashi makes a good point though

 **Akashitsme**  : I believe there are several variants of truth or dare.

 **Akashitsme** : all having their own sets of varying rules.

 **Maihugeballs** : he gets to get away with cheating just like that?

 **Moemo** : Akashi :D I learn from you sensei

 **Phantomhive** : Akashi is a bad influence

 **Akashitsme** : I thought you liked bad boys Tetsu

 **Fightmedumbass** : smooth af

 **Privateye** : we’ve all learnt an important lesson today boys and girl.

 **Privateye** : always draw up a contract when dealing with megalomaniacs

 **Akashitsme** : I do not have delusions of grandeur nor obsession for power.

 **Shadowfiendpicker** : Error 404 : truth not found

 **SugarDaddy** : let’s all go to sleep before someone says something very regretful

 **Privateye** : I think Akashi intended to not follow the rules from the get go

 **SugarDaddy** : Takao kun, what did I just say?? :’(

 **Luckyst** : do not tempt the devil Takao

 **Akashitsme** : I take offense Midorima

 **Privateye** : if Shin chan says so then I’ll withdraw  <3

 **Phantomhive** : Akashi you’re no saint

 **Luckyst** : and you just proved it by bypassing the rules

 **Akashitsme** : Tetsu, don’t tempt me to come over there and punish you.

 **Phantomhive** : Bite me

 **Akashitsme** : with pleasure

 **Maihugeballs** : get me a puke pail, I’m done.

 **Fightmedumbass** : night aho

 **SugarDaddy** : night everyone ^^

………………………………………………………………………  
   
**Phantomhive** : are you all watching channel 5?

 **Moemo** : poor Kagami..

 **Luckyst** : wretched creature

 **Phantomhive** : Akashi.

 **Akashitsme** : Tetsu how is any of it my fault?

 **Phantomhive** : you set a dare that could have potentially sent him into the sexual offenders list

 **Akashitsme** : he is still a minor. His records would have been erased post rehab.

 **Akashitsme** : besides, he wasn’t caught.

 **Phantomhive** : only because he had the foresight to wear a mask

 **Akashitsme** : not my fault that the press was near Seirin at the time of incident

 **Phantomhive** : he was chased by a news helicopter Akashi.

 **Phantomhive** : Kagami is on TV running away in boxers and a Guy Fawkes mask.

 **Phantomhive** : People are calling him an anarchist.

 **Moemo** : There’s already a fan page on Facebook dedicated to him.

 **Akashitsme** : Send me a link

 **Phantomhive** : Akashi! Take responsibility.

 **Akashitsme** : I did, I got the press away from him and put a word in with the investigating officers.

 **Phantomhive** : oh

 **Akashitsme** : I directed their attentions to a pedophile I’ve been tracking since last month

 **Phantomhive** : why were you tracking a pedophile?

 **Akashitsme** : came across a sharing site in the deep web while I was searching for a good bitcoin vendor. I hate pedophiles.

 **SugarDaddy** : Akashi that’s so badass! Good going  >.<

 **Phantomhive** : my parents aren’t home Akashi.

 **Akashitsme** : oh?

 **Akashitsme** : Oh

 **Akashitsme** : 20 mins Tetsu

 **Phantomhive** : I’ll leave the front door unlocked

 **Moemo** : (ⓛ ω ⓛ)

 **SugarDaddy** : (ⓛ ω ⓛ)

 **Luckyst** : Where is the obligatory Aomine protest?

 **Moemo** : Dai Chan is at the dentist’s right now

 **Luckyst** : he finally got his impacted wisdom tooth removed did he?

 **Moemo** : yap :3

 **Moemo** : Takao was filming the incident on his cam today, it has a better angle of Kagami kun's derrière!

 **SugarDaddy** : (ⓛ ω ⓛ)

 **Moemo**  : (ⓛ ω ⓛ)

 **SugarDaddy** : when is he uploading it?

 **Moemo** : in time for Dai Chan to see it (ⓛ ω ⓛ)

 **SugarDaddy** : (ⓛ ω ⓛ)

 

…………………………………………………………………..

  
   
[ **Privateye** shared a video]

 

 **Maihugeballs** : hey

 **Maihugeballs** : guuys

 **Maihugeballs** : guyys

 **Maihugeballs** : I mean guuys

 **Maihugeballs** : I rang the doorknob but no ones letting me outr

 **Maihugeballs** : I asm so confusded

 **Maihugeballs** : guuys

 **Akashitsme** : Is he high on hydrocodone?

 **Moemo** : yes xD

 **Phantomhive** : that has to be the worst reaction I’ve seen to Opiates

 **Maihugeballs** : that’s kagami tTaiga in the video guuys omg

 **Akashitsme** : *guys

 **Phantomhive** : not now Akashi

 **Phantomhive** : Aomine kun you need to sleep

 **Shadowfiendpicker** : don’t be a spoilt sport Tetsu

 **Luckyst** : typical Aomine, embarrassing himself.

 **Maihugeballs** : fuck you Midroima

 **Akashitsme** : what happened to his spell checker?

 **Phantomhive** : he is probably using the app on his laptop

 **Moemo** : yep his mom confiscated his phone temporarily

 **Maihugeballs** : that video is gold guuys

 **Akashitsme** : can someone call Aomine’s mother?

 **Phantomhive** : I don’t have her number

 **Moemo** : its fine guys ^^

 **SugarDaddy** : Doesn’t Kagami look good in black boxers?  <3

 **Maihugeballs** : kisse what areyou saying?

 **Phantomhive** : sigh

 **Akashitsme** :  I wash my hands off this group

 **Shadowfiendpicker** : we all think Kagami looked hot running about half naked right?

 **Moemo** : right ^^

 **SugarDaddy** : very true!

 **Privateye** : What about you Aomine?

 **Maihugeballs** : tehere were no boobs

 **Shadowfiendpicker** : what if kagami had boobs?

 **Maihugeballs** : kagami has boobs?no

 **Maihugeballs** : Kagami doesn’t habe boobs but dat ass

 **Privateye** : finally

 **Moemo** : what about dat ass? :D

 **Fightmedumbass** : I LEAVE FOR 5 MINUTES!

 **Shadowfiendpicker** : taiga shut up for a sec

 **Maihugeballs** : ayyyyy tiger how dat ass?

 **Fightmedumbass** : Aho SLEEP

 **Maihugeballs** : smack dat all on the floir

 **Akashitsme** : Aomine likes Kagami’s ass?

 **Moemo** : it had to be confirmed somehow

 **Phantomhive** : you guys are evil

 **Moemo** : you’re still here

 **Phantomhive** : it’s fascinating

 **Privateye** : like a train wreck

 **Fightmedumbass** : aomine when you’re reading this sober, know that I had nothing to do with it.

 **Maihugeballs** : tiger baby give dadddy a pic of dat ass

 **Phantomhive** : sexual harassment at its finest

 **Fightmedumbass** : what have you guys done

 **Akashitsme** : Created a monster apparently  
 

 **SugarDaddy** changed **Shame Shame** 's name to **Akashi banged kuroko**

   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I was not happy with the chapter. But I'd written it down and kept dawdling so I decided to stop vacillating and just put the damn thing up wth. I will try harder m(_ _)m thank you for reading.  
> P.s. Next chapter onwards we ride the aokaga train!


	3. spill the beans and the entire veggie cart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aomine realises he might have been bitten by the bug that's affecting the others on the group chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so.. I have this thing where I can't stop writing till I've thrown up everything my head's been cooking up. I need to study but I can't till I've done what the brain has asked of me, and that is completing this fic. It's a fickle brain. I made this chapter shorter than usual because the time has come for a change. The notes at the end will explain what I mean. And to Meichan, I hope this chapter satisfies your request!

**Phantomhive** changed  < **Akashi** **banged** **Kuroko >**'s name to < **Yukio** **banged** **Kise** >

 

**Shadowfiendpicker** : really?

 

**SugarDaddy** : Kurokocchi I trusted you!

 

**Shadowfiendpicker** : Kise  <3

 

**SugarDaddy** : no imayoshi

 

**Akashitsme** changed  < **Yukio** **banged** **Kise** >'s name to < **Akashi** **banged** **Kuroko** >

 

**SugarDaddy** : see, Akashicchi agrees with me ^^

 

**Phantomhive** : Akashi

 

**Phantomhive** : your privileges will be revoked.

 

**Akashitsme** : Tetsu lets not make any hasty decisions

 

**Phantomhive** : am I a trophy that you must flaunt in group chat?

 

**Akashitsme** : I will do as Tetsu wishes

 

**Akashitsme** changed  < **Akashi** **banged** **Kuroko** >'s name to < **Takao** **blew** **Midorima** >

 

**SugarDaddy** : oh my

 

**Luckyst** : What?

 

**Shadowfiendpicker** : is it "air your dirty laundry" day today?

 

**Luckyst** : Akashi that is not true!

 

**Privateye** : ....

 

**Phantomhive** : Takao kun, you remember don't you?

 

**Privateye** : no

 

**Shadowfiendpicker** : The kardashians have nothing on the drama in this group chat

 

**Phantomhive** : in the locker room

 

**Phantomhive** : Next to the water cooler

 

**Phantomhive** : Kazunari on his knees

 

**Akashitsme** : Shin Chan moaning

 

**Luckyst** : STOP!

 

**FightMedumbass** : oh snap

 

**Chewbaka** : Kuro chin, how do you know it in such detail?

 

**Phantomhive** : I fell asleep between the locker and bench

 

**Phantomhive** : The sounds woke me up and I thought it'd be rude to interrupt

 

**Shadowfiendpicker** : so you decided to peep instead

 

**Phantomhive** : yes

 

**Luckyst** : how did you not notice him? Hawk eyes?

 

**Privateye** : Shin Chan you grabbed and shoved me into the room then put your hand there! I was very distracted :(

 

**FightMedumbass** : when did all this happen?!

 

**Phantomhive** : during the Winter Cup matches

 

**Privateye** : i thought it was an empty locker room :(

 

**Shadowfiendpicker** : But then a wild Kuroko appeared

 

**Akashitsme** : I'm glad we've all bonded through the humiliation of public revelation.

 

**Shadowfiendpicker** : So is Midorima top?

 

**Akashitsme** : i would say so

 

**Lucksty** : my personal life is not up for discussion.

 

**Shadowfiendpicker** : you mean your sex life.

 

**Privateye** : do I not look like I would top?

 

**Luckyst** : No

 

**Phantomhive** : it's easy enough to guess who tops

 

**Shadowfiendpicker** : what like you and Akashi?

 

**Akashitsme** : ez

 

**Phantomhive** : sigh

 

**SugarDaddy** : I've got a challenge for you guys!

 

**SugarDaddy** : Does Daiki top? Or Taiga? (≖ ͜ʖ≖)

 

**FightMedumbass** : wtf Ryouta!!

 

**Shadowfiendpicker** : Daiki obviously

 

**FightMedumbass** : what?!

 

**Phantomhive** : Taiga is feisty, he won't bottom without a fight.

 

**FightMedumbass** : stop talking like I'm not here reading it all!

 

**Privateye** : $ 100 on Daiki

 

**Akashitsme** : $ 100 on Daiki

 

**Phantomhive** : $ 150 on Taiga

 

**Luckyst** : I refuse to participate in this nonsense.

 

**FightMedumbass** : Ahomine where the fuck are you?

 

**Akashitsme** : your loss Shintarou

 

**Shadowfiendpicker** : $100 on both switching depending on the mood

 

**FightMedumbass** : Momoi?!

 

**Akashitsme** : no one can hear your screams Taiga

 

**Shadowfiendpicker** : There's no where to run

 

**Privateye** : No place to hide

 

  
**FightMedumbass** left the group chat

 

  
**Phantomhive** : you guys are creeps

 

**Shadowfiendpicker** : says the guy that peeped on Midotaka

 

**Luckyst** : there is no Midotaka

 

**Shadowfiendpicker** changed  < **Takao** **blew** **Midorima** >'s name to < **#MidoTaka4ever <3**>

 

**SugarDaddy** added **FightMedumbass** to  < **#MidoTaka4ever <3**>

 

.......................................

 

**Moemo** : Ah, you guys were busy :D

 

**Privateye** : where'd you go?

 

**Moemo** : I left my cellphone at my aunt's T.T

 

**SugarDaddy** : lets go chat in the other group. We have plans to make (≖ ͜ʖ≖)

 

**Privateye** : (≖ ͜ʖ≖)

 

**Moemo** : (≖ ͜ʖ≖)

 

**Akashitsme** : other group?

 

**Privateye** : that's none of your business Akashi ^^

 

**Akashitsme** : I see

 

**Shadowfiendpicker** : careful there Takao, don't poke the snake.

 

...........................

 

**Maihugeballs** : dafuq happened when I was gone for 2 days? 341 messages?

 

**Maihugeballs** : #MidoTaka?!

 

**Moemo** : welcome back Dai Chan ^^

 

**Shadowfiendpicker** : ayyyyy how dat ass tiger?

 

**Privateye** : ayyyyy how dat ass tiger?

 

**SugarDaddy** : ayyyyy how dat Ass tiger?

 

**SugarDaddy** : *ass

 

**Phantomhive** changed  < **#MidoTaka4ever <3**>'s name to < **ayyy** **how** **dat** **ass**   **tiger** >

 

**Maihugeballs** : wtf is going on?!

 

**Shadowfiendpicker** : I rang the doorknob but no ones letting me outr

 

**SugarDaddy** : tiger baby give dadddy a pic of dat ass

 

**Maihugeballs** : would someone kindly, kindly explain?

 

**Moemo** : they are repeating what you said on group chat Dai Chan ^^

 

**Privateye** : word for word

 

**Phantomhive** : and not a single mistake out of place

 

**Akashitsme** : Daiki

 

**Moemo** : Dai Chan please reply ^^

 

**Phantomhive** : perhaps he is scrolling to check whether being trolled or not

 

**Moemo** : wear your seat belts, we are about to enter turbulence!

 

**Maihugeballs** : MOTHERFUCKERS!

 

**Moemo** : put on your parachutes!

 

**Maihugeballs** : I WAS DRUGGED OKAY?

 

**Akashitsme** : Daiki please stop yelling

 

**Maihugeballs** : Kagami, I didn't mean any of it

 

**Moemo** : yes you did

 

**Maihugeballs** : Satsuki whose side are you on??

 

**Moemo** : on Aokaga's side  <3

 

**Maihugeballs** : you know I love boobs

 

**Privateye** : you also love Kagami's ass

 

**Phantomhive** : you were high on painkillers we know. But no one was controlling you.

 

**Maihugeballs** : bullshit, I was steered towards saying whatever I did.

 

**Akashitsme** : I have never heard of a straight man turning gay when high

 

**Maihugeballs** : I didn't turn gay

 

**Akashitsme** : no, you just admitted to loving "dat ass"

 

**Maihugeballs** : an Ass is an Ass, good asses aren't gender based.

 

**Akashitsme** : my point exactly

 

**Phantomhive** : why does the gender matter?

 

**Moemo** : you like Taiga's ass, it turns you on. Go grab it, simple yes?

 

**Maihugeballs** : it's not so simple guys

 

**Akashitsme** : are you homophobic Daiki?

 

**Maihugeballs** : what? No!

 

**Luckyst** : Aomine, does the thought of another dick repulse you then?

 

**Maihugeballs** : I haven't thought about it, I guess it does? I dunno

 

**Moemo** : then give it a go and see whether you like it or not

 

**FightMedumbass** : excuse me?

 

**Akashitsme** : ah the other party is here.

 

**FightMedumbass** : I refuse

 

**Moemo** : but Taiga, Aomine is hot! Don't deny it!

 

**FightMedumbass** : he may be hot but he's a dumbass.

 

**Maihugeballs** : you think I'm hot? Really?

 

**FightMedumbass** : I refuse to be part of an experiment conducted for a bi curious straight man. Does no one think about me getting hurt?

 

**Phantomhive** : kagami kun, we care about you and would never do something to hurt you. Ultimately, it's your choice.

 

**Shadowfiendpicker** : tiger, are you indirectly admitting that you have deeper feelings for Aomine?

 

**FightMedumbass** : Imayoshi stop taking things out of context

 

**FightMedumbass** : Aomine, yes I do think you're hot. But I don't like you.

 

**Shadowfiendpicker** : "it hurts because it matters"

 

**Shadowfiendpicker** : remember that Kagami kun  <3

 

**Chewbaka** : Imayoshi, speaking from experience?

 

**Shadowfiendpicker** : wouldn't you like to know ^^

 

**SugarDaddy** : So.....

 

**Shadowfiendpicker** : I still say Daiki tops, right Daiki?

 

**Maihugeballs** : of course I would

 

**FightMedumbass** : fuck off Ahomine, no one tops me

 

**Maihugeballs** : But that ass is begging me to top it Taiga

 

**Akashitsme** : Daiki taking to homosexuality like a duck to water

 

**Moemo** : It's happening guys!

 

**FightMedumbass** : Aomine, you don't even like dick

 

**Maihugeballs** : how would you know?

 

**FightMedumbass** : oh please

 

**Maihugeballs** : send me a pic

 

**Moemo** : (ⓛ ω ⓛ)

 

**SugarDaddy** : (ⓛ ω ⓛ)

 

**FightMedumbass** : no

 

**Maihugeballs** : come on Taiga, I sent you mine.

 

**FightMedumbass** : I don't recall begging you for a dick pic Aomine

 

**Maihugeballs** : are you home?

 

**FightMedumbass** : yeah why?

 

**Maihugeballs** : I'm coming over.

 

**Moemo** : !!!!

 

**SugarDaddy** : o.O

 

**FightMedumbass** : wtf you're not invited Ahomine!

 

**SugarDaddy** : he went offline Kagamicchi

 

**Akashitsme** : He sure moves fast

 

**Phantomhive** : It's been a long day

 

......................................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So We've reached a point where I need to deviate from the group chat so we can have some action. Like a normal chapter about them meeting and stuff. If you guys want me to continue with chats, let me know. Plus, I was thinking Imayoshi needs some love. I want to pair him with Kise. Any objections? Or suggestions?  
> Dear slashbat, the sexy times will come doncha worry.


	4. Bang Bang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Endless lines of porn!
> 
> Warning : no humour, just porn porn porn from beginning to end. Don't read if you don't like gay sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will first apologise. I am sorry it's my first time writing gay porn and I didn't know just how I was supposed to go about it without making it cheesy. I realised this chapter that I'm better at comedy lol. Believe me, I agonised over it from day one despite being a hardcore fujoshi. It makes me blush alright, writing porn that is. I didn't even edit it so there must be mistakes there, apologies. To my friend Barb, if you're reading this, girl stop. I can't look you in the eye after this xD  
> And yeah, perskutti requested Akakuro so here it is, I hope it satisfies your Akakuro needs :D

Chop chop chop

Kagami's knife sliced through the spicy pork sausage.

The dumbass was on his way and Kagami needed to get his mind and dick off the thought of Daiki. Colourful swears peppered each vicious chop of the knife; Taiga had tried so hard not to fall for the hot ace of Too but Aomine's (damn him) prowess on court, the utter confidence and swagger had tiger at hello. Now all that he needed was Aomine realising that sausage turned him off, and leaving with bits of Tiger's smashed up heart. Like hell he was going to let that happen.

The smell of sizzling onions filled the kitchen space while Kagami laboured away on a stir fry. He turned the stove off and considered ditching his apartment. Kuroko would allow him to crash at his place but the little snitch would immediately tell Akashi and they'd scheme together. Like Kuroko wasn't enough, he didn't need Edward scissor hands himself meddling in Taiga's life; The thought made him shudder involuntarily. And so the stove was reluctantly fired up again and the stir fry shaken vigorously.

Kagami tasted the beef broth that sat simmering on the stove for 40 minutes. It needed a little more pepper, and perhaps some cilantro at the end. He peered into the broth and spaced out, wishing it held the answers to his dilemma.

"Yo"

Taiga's heart leapt into his throat and only his super quick reflexes averted the colossal disaster that would have been a spillover of precious broth all over his sparkling clean kitchen counter. He turned on his heels and violently flung the wooden ladle at the dumbass.

"How the hell did you get in?!"

Tiger distinctly remembered latching all the bolts to his door.

Aomine deftly caught the ladle out of the air before it smacked him on the forehead. The effortlessly fluid motion that caught the ladle was sort of really hot, Kagami's treacherous brain supplied.

"Climbed the tree out back and slipped in through your window" 

Tiger was expending much energy trying to not notice how Daiki's hair looked slightly windswept like he'd rushed over on a pair of wings like some messenger from the sky. A lonesome bead of sweat curved past Aomine's smooth neck and into his clavicle. Thus Kagami bemoaned the utter unfairness of the universe that conspired with everything including a drop of sweat to make Aomine so delectable. Tiger would eat him up like a cupcake.

"Gross, stop sweating and stinking up my kitchen" his mouth paradoxically spat out. "And why can't you use the door like a normal person?"

"You wouldn't have let me in" Aomine replied nonchalantly while eyeing the bolts on the door.

"Knowing that, you still chose to trespass. You're an idiot" he replied and began to set the table for two. Tiger wanted to slap himself right then, he'd cooked enough for the both of them despite the fact that he'd decided not to let Aomine in. Kagami studiously ignored the implications that his actions held.

"Taiga" the butter smooth baritone murmured against his ear and Aomine's breath tickled the side of his neck. His heart was going to give out soon if this obnoxious and attractive creature kept sneaking up on him like this. It was easy to maintain an air of disinterest and disdain on the phone but having him so close required all of Taiga's self control and acting chops to not give away the fact that he was starting to lose it. He clutched white knuckled at the table and let out an expletive.

"What is your fucking problem?! I told you I am NOT interested in experimenting with a straight man!" He practically yelled into Aomine's face. He wanted Aomine to get mad, to lash out at Taiga, anything but the way he stood there causally sampling the fucking stir fry and broth damn it!

"Man this is amazing" he gave Taiga an impressed look while picking up a stray veggie that had fallen out of his spoon. "Can I have some bread? This broth is fucking beautiful"

Kagami was speechless. "Not eating?" The shameless intruder asked him, as though the kitchen belonged to him. 

"Lost my appetite"

Aomine had come for a specific reason, but the aroma of food had distracted him. Now that his empty stomach had been partially sated, he regarded the delicious looking red head with a glint in his eye.

"You finally remembered what you came for Aho?" He snapped feeling peevish at being ignored in lieu of food.

A slight smile teased at the edge of Aomine's lips, lifting and exposing a pearly white canine and it made him look absolutely rakish.

"I came to eat lunch" the smile widened and blind sighted Kagami.

Aomine's double innuendo hit Kagami like an arrow. "Then hurry up and eat so I can get rid of you dumbass". No, he hadn't meant to make it sound that way but it was too late, Aomine looked pleased as a cat that got the cream.

Heavy lidded blue eyes rooted Taiga where he stood and Aomine sauntered ever closer, much like a predator with eyes locked onto the petrified tiger. It was happening too fast and Taiga suddenly felt like a deer staring at the incoming headlights of a truck. Kagami was 3 cms shorter than Aomine but at this moment it felt like 10. His brain jumpstarted in tandem with his heart and Taiga felt like the proverbial moth that was being drawn to a fire.

"Aomine, this is a really bad idea" he finally managed to find his voice.

The distance between their faces dwindled till he was close enough to notice the halo of gold in Aomine's blues. Those pretty eyes that held Taiga's red ones quickly flicked to his lips and back. This subtle movement made Taiga's blood pump faster and sent a thrill of electricity through him. One tanned hand cupped Kagami's cheek and a thumb brushed past his aching lower lip. Aomine's downcast eyes lingered on where his thumb had breached. Warm breath replaced the burning gaze that had been focused on Taiga's lips for what he felt was an eternity in time. Kagami wanted to leap forward, close that gap and kiss the teasing bastard, if only Aomine had a 100% certified gay sticker stamped on him.

"Aomine back off" his voice sounded hoarse and tight with tension.

Aomine being Aomine refused to back down, and lifted Taiga's chin to meet his lips.

Gathering up the dregs of his willpower, Kagami pushed Aomine against the wall and broke the kiss before it even began. He had never felt so angry and turned on in his life. Kagami punched the wall right next to Aomine's head and it hurt like a bitch. Furious red eyes pinned Aomine with a stare that should have sent a lesser man scurrying away but the damn blue haired lunatic looked delighted, turned on even.

"Find another man to satisfy your curiosity"

Kagami felt his heart lurch at the thought of Aomine with another person but this would spare him a world of more pain.

"It has to be you" The blue gaze on him stared back unwaveringly

"Are you hell bent on making me miserable Aomine? Is that what you're here for?!" Yeah he'd started yelling again but right now all the blood in his body was flowing south and Kagami's brain was fast shutting down. The intense desire to pound Aomine into the bed threatened to shatter his brittle reserve of discipline.

"Taiga if you refuse, I will go out right now and fuck the first gay man I find!" He snapped. Fucking finally.

"You will not!" Kagami grabbed at Aomine's collar and growled viciously at him. The disgustingly sexy grin returned to Aomine's face and Kagami wanted to shove a fist or two into that smug face.

"Aomine" he began, "this is what's going to happen"

"I will take you to my bedroom right now. But once I shut that door, there is no escape for you, no running away. I will tie you to the bed if I have to. The day will end with either me fucking you or you getting fucked by me!" he threatened in the most menacing tone he could muster. Taiga was done with this shit, Aomine had teased and turned him on well beyond the line of self restraint.

Aomine laughed a rich throaty sound that had Taiga's stomach flipping. "We shall see who fucks wh-" 

Kagami brought his lips to Aomine's with all the force and desire of a starved man. It was a million floodgates bursting, freeing the butterflies that crowded his belly. It stole his breath away and he all but melted into the burning contact between their lips. The kiss was fierce, messy and hot, just like Aomine. A tongue slipped in between his lips, demanding and rough. It licked him, tasted him and showed him how wrong the other kisses were. Taiga was far too gone and If this was the last kiss he'd ever recieve from Aomine, Taiga would rather die. He didn't care if Aomine was gay or straight, this kiss was worth everything. Kagami inhaled the scent of soap and something masculine, dusky and naturally Aomine and it was perfect. A bite on Aomine's honeyed lips brought out a deep moan that had Taiga pulling in Daiki closer and bucking his hips to the other man's. Through the haze of the kiss, Kagami felt a pair of wandering hands grab at his butt with a firm and strong squeeze. Aomine's expert hands, the same ones that made those beautiful freestyle throws were now manhandling his derrière and that fired him up like a match thrown into kerosene. The same heat kindled inside the darker man whose hands were finally on the butt that frequented his waking dreams. Reluctantly, they separated gasping for air and it gratified him to see Aomine's pupils blown from the kiss. He looked shocked and turned on in equal measures, lips slick and puffy from the rough nips bestowed by Kagami.

"If that's what a kiss with you feels like, I can't wait for the sex" Aomine breathlessly informed Kagami with a quick little thrust into Kagami's crotch that created just the right amount of friction.

"Bedroom now" Aomine ordered between another messy kiss.

The door slammed shut with a finality that excited Kagami, it was inevitable now that the final wall had been brought down. Aomine's arms circled his waist in a possessive grip and pulled him in for the umpteenth kiss. Kagami could have sworn Aomine had started it, he couldn't remember past the feeling of Daiki's hot tongue beautifully punishing his mouth but they soon found themselves divested of all their outer clothing. Aomine was gloriously dishevelled and lying there on Kagami's bed in nothing but his pac man patterned boxers. Bright half mast eyes and bee stung lips beckoned to Kagami like a siren call. Kagami's breath caught and his eyes worshipped the gorgeous face, the delicious chocolate skin and toned body that was muscled at all the right places. He peppered kisses along Aomine's jaw and Sent feather touches along his inner thighs, past the curve of a butt and on the Peebled nipples. 

"Kagami" the voice was low, begging.

Taiga kissed at the bulge on the boxers and Aomine sucked in a sharp breath. He was coming undone like a virgin and it made his cheeks burn. Kagami's soft wet tongue licked across his belly button and dipped into the waistband of Aomine's boxers. 

"You fucking tease!" He groaned, a sexy sound that had Kagami wanting to hear more of it.

Warm breath ghosted over dark naked skin and it sent goosebumps down his neck. Aomine was not prepared for when Taiga took him in the mouth and gave it a slow and torturous suck. Nor was he ready for the when Kagami palmed at his balls. He'd never known he had such sensitive parts of him. Taiga's mouth was swift and talented. No sooner had he started, Aomine was ready to spill, and spill he did.

"Oh my fucking gooood" he lamented and covered his eyes. That had to be the best and worst blowjob he'd ever received. It was so unbelievably good it made him come in record time and that was mortifying.

"Can we forget that ever happened?" He raised himself on his elbows and asked an amused Kagami who was licking the white streak of liquid off his lips and it managed to turn on Aomine even more. His cock was already waking up again.

"Nope" The redhead replied cheekily

"Please just don't tell anyone" Aomine groaned and flopped back onto the bed. Kagami joined him there and rested his head on Aomine's chest while contemplating the pattern on his ceiling.

Lazy blue eyes turned to him, "hey"

"I'm not sure I can beat what you did but.. can I..?" He wanted to put Kagami through the same tortuous pleasure he endured. But Aomine was realistic, he'd never given a blow job before. The lack of experience made him waver.

Kagami thought about it for a second, "another time Daiki. It's not that I don't want it, god knows I'd give an arm and a leg for a blow job from those pretty lips. But today's about you and your introduction to gay sex 101. So let me do the work yeah"

An indescribably warm feeling threatened to burst out of Aomine's chest. Taiga had intense bedroom eyes, even those weird forked brows seemed sexy to Aomine. Was this love?

Kagami burst into laughter at what Aomine had said out loud unwittingly.

"Aomine" Taiga wanted to ask him if he was ready to try it now.

"Ok" a thread of uncertainty laced the bravado in his answer. 

Kagami planted a wet kiss on Aomine's lips, "know what? I'm feeling generous today. Since it's your first time, why don't you top?"

Aomine twisted out of his arms and swiftly switched places with Taiga who was now on the bed facing the looming blue haired Adonis. Said Adonis lifted Kagami's fingers to his lips in a tender gesture that had his heart hurting in a good way.

"Taiga, I'm not saying this because I don't want to sound like a giant asshole. I mean it when I say I want to be taken by you, fucked till Sunday and back. But today, I want to hear you call out my name as I do that amazing ass I've been coveting. So let me be an asshole for today"

Aomine looked so earnest and solemn that it drew out a snort from Kagami. "You don't have to gimme a fucking speech Daiki, I want this too. I'm eventually going to bang that and make you cry" he gently nudged with his leg against Aomine's butt.

"Asshole" Daiki said it without heat. Kagami opened his bedside drawer and threw a shiny silver packet at Aomine. Mister tall, dark and sexy tore it open with his teeth and wore it with the flourish of an expert.

"You are such a man whore" Taiga rolled his eyes at the excessive display of skill.

"Baby I love it when you talk dirty" Aomine purred

"G-get on with it Daiki" the blushing Kagami spluttered.

Aomine spread a handful of lubricant over the pert chrysanthemum between Taiga's legs. He did so with agonising gentleness and then inserted one perfect finger. Kagami squirmed and bit his lip as Aomine inserted a second finger and felt around for the prostrate. Bingo, he knew he'd found it when Kagami made a soft noise of pleasure. He grinned at the gorgeous redhead and began loosening him up for the eventual entry of Aomine's very endowed member. 

Kagami was hot and bothered, he wanted Aomine inside him asap. "Aomine, do it" he groaned as those fingers found his prostrate again. Wasting no time, Aomine lowered himself between Taiga's legs and slowly began inserting his very erect cock into Taiga. The heat and tightness of it left him hissing in sheer pleasure.

"fuck.. "

Kagami knew Aomine's package was nothing to scoff at both in terms of girth and length. but it still stung quite a bit when he entered. He was filled completely by Aomine and the feeling was addictive. Daiki had the look of a man undergoing a religious experience as he moved back and forth with broad strokes. He buried his head in the crook of Taiga's neck and inhaled deeply at the fresh scent of Kagami Taiga. Kagami moved his hips with Aomine's thrusts in the graceful dance of mating that was as old as humanity.

"Taiga" Aomine moaned his name reverently as he drove into him, "Taiga", Aomine increased in pace and force with each thrust. Soon it was just the sounds of shallow -heavy breathing and the reluctant creaks of the bed as Daiki slammed into Kagami again and again, harder and faster.

Kagami was long lost in the sensations of Aomine's thrusts against his prostrate. The pleasure kept rolling and building, taking him higher and higher until he reached the plateau with a sweet moan of Aomine's name. Daiki himself on the cusp of explosion came when Kagami orgasmed with his name on those delectable lips. His nerves exploded in pleasure that was all encompassing and blinding. It was the sight, scent, taste and sound of a Kagami Taiga that had resulted in such a mind blowing orgasm.

Aomine collapsed on top of Kagami breathless and spent. The musky scent of love making hung heavy in the air and Aomine closed his eyes in tired satisfaction.

"Aho, you're heavy" the man underneath complained.

"Mmmmm" he sleepily nuzzled into Kagami's neck, "let me regain my breath Baka"

Aomine rolled off Taiga and with his eyes closed, he felt around for Kagami's hand. Fingers laced in Taiga's, he brought the hand to his lips for another heart achingly gentle kiss and fell asleep on the soft pillow that smelt like Taiga's fabric softener.

........................

Meanwhile at AOKAGA

 **SugarDaddy** : Bow chicka wow 

 **Moemo** : get em Daiki! XD

 **Privateye** : (≖ ͜ʖ≖)

.................

  
Kuroko's phone buzzed and vibrated on the glass table next to the couch where he was lazily making out with Akashi. One hand blindly groped the table top looking for the offending phone.

Breaking away from the kiss, he looked at the screen. it was Aomine calling.

"Hello Aomine kun"

Akashi let the displeasure of being interrupted show on his face. 5 minutes more and he would have had Tetsu gunning for impromptu sex. The red head made a mental note to dish out punishment on Aomine Daiki for his immoral cockblocking ways.

"What? Really?" Tetsu sounded excited and the red head concluded that Aomine had finally gotten laid, which was no excuse for this badly timed interruption. His mind scrolled through the dozens of ways he could get back at Aomine and finally stopped at slot number 26. A peaceful smile settled on his face, that would be an interesting prospect.

Minutes crawled by like molasses trudging uphill on a rainy day. Akashi looked at the clock while impatiently tapping away on the glass tabletop with his fingers. He looked down at his neglected boner and decided enough was enough, he would take matters into hands and also punish Tetsu.

Kuroko, oblivious to Akashi's turmoil, continued to merrily chat away with Aomine who was stacking up miles of negative Karma. Akashi got up from his seat and pushed a surprised Tetsu, flat onto the couch.

"Hold on Aomine"

"What are you doing??" He silently mouthed at his irate lover.

Akashi's cat eyes gleamed at him and unzipped the trousers on Kuroko. Aomine continued loudly talking to Kuroko and he listened wide eyed, unable to end the tirade that Aomine was on. His free hand smacked at the pale, elegant fingers that dove past his boxers and into a place Akashi had no business touching while he was on phone with a friend.

The red head resolutely ignored the glare being sent his way, this was a man on a mission that no phone call from a dead Aomine would stop, emphasis on the word dead. His hand circled the hardening length of Kuroko, oh Akashi just loved it when Kuroko got hard so fast for him. He leaned over to kiss and suck at a pale neck while his hand worked downstairs. 

"Ah yes, I mean no, aah" kuroko moaned and a hand gently covered his mouth.

"keep talking and don't hang up, or I'll tell everyone about your dolphin vibrator" Akashi whispered lovingly into Kuroko's ear.

Blue eyes speared him with a death glare but he continued his ministrations.

"No, I really am ok Aomine kun. I just managed to reach a spot on my back that itched" 

Akashi smiled at the smooth excuse that came out of his lover's lips.

"Mmm what? you love him?"

It was at this moment that Akashi chose to dip down and lick a long broad stroke up the length of Kuroko's little Kuroko. The teal haired boy bit his lip hard and breathed audibly.

"I uh don't know Aomine" he patiently replied to the still chattering friend. His voice wavered in between but he managed to cover it up with a cough.

"I... uh... Ao-ah-Aommm" this was bad. Akashi smiled up at him innocently and went back to French kissing the now very hard and slick cock.

"Yes, I just ah aah, I've got a problem" he breathed into the phone. Aomine dense as he could sometimes be, finally realised just what was going on with his friend.

Click, the line went dead in Tetsu's ear. Finally, Kuroko closed his eyes and surrendered to the bliss that was Akashi's mouth on his (bleep)!!!

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally it's over huh :p I hope the chapter turned out half decent. You guys were expecting a lot and so if I've failed to deliver, let me know please! I need constructive criticim :) and yeah, I'll keep the kiss x kasamatsu ship since y'all like that! next chapter I'm introducing another (guess who?) salty KnB character in the group chat so..... expect lots of salt and burn. 
> 
> Also, thank you so much for the comments! It makes me so happy to read everything you guys have to say!
> 
> Edit : my parents have adopted a new baby girl and I've got my hands full taking care of my little sister so the next chapter will be late! My apologies!

**Author's Note:**

> Well that happened


End file.
